Implant Explant
đąI wrote this on my Facebook a few weeks ago however I added more to it: Itâs almost been a month since I had a rigorous surgery to get my breast implants removed. I had a total of three procedures done in one sitting. Needless to say, the anesthesia I was given was astronomical. My surgeon said he was going to throw the kitchen sink at me. đł One of the procedures in the surgery was to reattach my pectoral muscles, so I have not been able to use my arms. Itâs been extremely difficult during my healing process because I donât feel at all understood. I feel judged by my family constantly. Itâs hard for them to understand the gravity of what Iâm going through due to their emotional immaturity. Comparing another recuperation to an unrelated surgery does not a good idea.
Not being able to use my arms has been difficult, it limits my autonomy, independence, and privacy. But most of all it limits the way in which you do things. As I am sure we all do things in a particular way for a particular reason. Rhyme or reason is up to us when performing our daily tasks. So having others be your arms can pose a problem if they donât particularly agree with your rhyme or reason. If someone isnât in the mood to help you, you can come off as annoying or a nuisance. Understandably being a caretaker is not easy, to say the least, therefore this creates another aspect of the process. I donât want to inconvenience anybody but at the same time, I also need my needs met. Never demanding but instead requesting and even this has caused problems. Each day is a team effort, aligning my mood, emotions, feelings, and energy with the person who is helping me each day.
It has been a lot of work but in a different way. Each person has to communicate and be understanding, patient, empathetic, and compassionate.
This process has also been a very isolating experience because I look perfectly fine on the outside. Thatâs actually not the case of whatâs actually repairing itself. I am still so impaired from the inside. Ironically Iâve been here before, this isolation. Having survived a coma and having a traumatic brain injury is similar. I look fine externally except, internally extremely sensitive to noise levels, I get overwhelmed by a lot of stimuliâlight, verbal noise, sound, crowds, and more but no one sees this on the exteriorâthis is the life of post Traumatic brain injury. That part of me will never change, I will always be sensitive in these ways and I have learned how to live with these sensitivities. I am sensitive, and that will never go away, but that often gets forgotten, and now itâs piling up. I not only am in pain, and emotional, and need rest but also need peace and quiet.
Expressing my feelings has been quite a task as most tend to try to fix my feelings so I donât feel them anymore but thatâs not why feelings show up and thatâs not why I am expressing my feelings. I am expressing my feelings to actually be consoled and comforted. We donât need others to agree with our feelings but ultimately just be there.
I had a healing session after my surgery and my healing guide made light of how the implants, as toxic as they were, became a part of my body. How the way I was operating on an energetic level at the moment of the breast augmentationâmental, emotional, and physicalâwas also removed with the surgery. 𤯠Big whoa moment. So telling you I was and STILL am emotional is an understatement. I was and am fragile, delicate, sensitive, and tender, all physically and emotionally. It was a lot & I wasnât expecting to have it all come up, but it all came to the surface. đ These are the types of things we donât realize when we go through a physical alteration or change. We see only the physical but our bodies are interdependent and thereâs more than what the eye can see.
This surgery is just the inception of my healing and detoxing of the heavy đ¤đźmetals that breast implants leaked into my body. I am healing not only my physical body but also my emotional body along with my spiritual body. Itâs multifaceted and thatâs not to be ignored. Thank you to those that are there for me and accept me for who I am without âď¸judgment. Iâm grateful for the family that can help me during this time, with food, housing, clothes, water, and resources.
đĽ°I have witnessed a great amount of support from those I never thought would be there for me. I am also sadly underwhelmed by others. I have gained huge amounts of clarity through this. Physically I can finally đŽâđ¨breathe deeply and this feels so good. I always wondered why I was often out of breath and could not practice breath-work to its fullness, my body no longer feels like it got run over by a đtrain each and every day, my mood is stabilizing, and my brain fog is dissipating, my sense of self has increased, I am so happy with my new look, I feel lighter, brighter, I feel better every day. I will be gauging my energy each day as I am still very much healing. I have to be gentle with myself and take it one day at a time.
I can only go up from here. Please contact me if you have any questions for me about this journey I am happy to answer and be of any kind of support. đ¤
FREE FULL MOON REIKI SHARE
Come prepared to release with the full moon and Recieve the Reiki energy.
