Unearthed Voice

So honest post right herr & (my judgements):

For a good while I was highly turned off from my decision in becoming a yoga teacher AND I even blogged about it back then lol. Talk about my Scorpio rising coming out, but I digress.

Back to my aversion to yoga. I noticed how yoga is so highly commercialized, stylized, sensationalized and more often than not gone to the opposite spectrum of the ancient practice.

* f 💣 s are coming😬

I was turned off by the fancy poses, the photo shoots, half naked women/men, the vinyasas, oh the vinyasas, the, “I’m really fucken spiritual look at me”. When in reality their “spirituality” started & ended in the ability to teach yoga/simply contort into shapes. It’s based on a facade, the external show rather than the internal work. Most importantly I loathed how it became an ego stroke. The poses in swimsuits and the quotes, the lack of depth. I was like WTF did I get myself into?!!😫

Now, have you ever walked into a room filled with LA yoga teachers. Oooh child the ego. I felt that shit so much. It brought out a lot of my own shit. It triggered the fuck out of me.🙋🏽‍♀️

And there was a time in the beginning of my teaching career where I dropped a lot of classes because I was so averse with teaching and practicing & so reluctant in making it my full time because of all these aspects and more. (A lot of fear was there too.) But I found that the disillusionment with teaching came from the expectations of students. All the questions, like “What if they don’t like me?” (Which by the way happened all the time cuz I have #aphasia so fast paced classes can be quite triggering for some)😬 & “How can I satisfy all their needs?”

So I retreated and in that drawing back process, the time out I took. I struggled during this time BTW. I had one foot in the yoga studio one foot out. I was convinced it wasn’t for me. But then 💥 I found my POWER. I found my voice. I found what makes me, me. And I finally discovered the answer to my questions of fear & doubt. Well if they don’t like me, then they find another teacher. And if I can’t meet their needs then, they find another teacher. Lol When I forget names of poses, draw a blank, or don’t speak English. That’s all me! And I owned it.

I stepped in, with both feet and knew that even though there are people out there who do their thang in their way. I too can do the same. Frank Sinatra said it best, “I do it my way”. And I did, I do. I teach to those who resonate with me, who align and see my light.

I accept that not everyone will like my light and may very well be averse to me. 🤷🏽‍♀️Lol ironic right? But at least I’m being me and doing it the way that feels right and honest. Trying to fit into a mold is not my jam. Listening inward is my guide✨

How do you pick your yoga teacher/s? How do you choose who you work with energetically/mentally/spiritually? What is your guide?