What does your self-talk sound like?

With the rise of mental health awareness and so many self-help influencers around. I think it is important to bring up the concept of self-talk. I was listening to a podcast that referenced Lacy Phillips and her approach to unblocking our subconscious beliefs of unworthiness.

After listening to this statement and reading about how sometimes mantras do not work for everyone,,, because of those pesky subconscious beliefs that were buried oh so deep down. Mmmerrr so we don’t have to deal with them? Wehhhhll lets unpack them. I know I know, grab a cup of water and maybe a stress ball.😝

First, let’s start with you are amazing and you’ve come such a long way (speaking to self, believe me). What does the little voice inside say when you make a mistake? Does it sound like your mother/father/sister/brother? Does it sound shameful or judgmental? Is it nice or is it a bully?

Ok so notice that no judgment, just acknowledge.

Now maybe you know exactly where it comes from, parents, family, that icky ex/boss/co-worker. Know that this was conditioning and it’s time to release this. I’m guessing it doesn’t uplift you, cheer you up, encourage you, or bring a smile to your face. Am I right?

Ok, next up let’s begin to challenge these vexing voices. Are you really those things those voices say or are those just things your mind is looping kind of like on autopilot. Beginning to question and confront those nagging voices will reframe your inner voice.

By reframing your inner voice you can create new voices. Like self-soothing ones. So we make mistakes big surprise but instead of bashing ourselves for it, how about, “It’s ok insert name we didn’t have all the information to make a better decision” OR “That was the best decision I could make in that circumstance.”

I believe self-soothing is tied to reparenting, which is a bigger umbrella. It’s all connected. Our childhood holds the key to our adulthood so looking at these elements will give us a good picture of what we want to lean into. I recently learned that not everybody knows how to self-soothe. So this is a quality to work on if this sounds familiar.

Once we get into self-improvement, self-study, we learn that this work is like a sticky web. But hey the more we can look at the aspects of ourselves we can improve, the more awareness we bring in to create the change.

Ways to up the ante:

Lacy Phillips suggests because we have these subconscious embedded beliefs we must boost our worthiness stock account. This starts by saying “no” and creating boundaries for yourself. After all your time is valuable and special.

Take up more space, yes you! Things like unfriending people you no longer resonate with, no longer putting yourself in places and spaces that don’t light you up, quitting that job, breaking up with that person…

Add these into your day-to-day and see how things shift for you. Let me know how it’s going, I’d love to hear from you.

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